The End is a Beginning

Freedom’s Eye

The past 6 months have proven there exists genuine interest in The Apollonian - for that I am grateful. Confidence in my writing ability hasn’t waivered; I questioned the strength of e-mail as a medium for communicating ideas, because of the unshakeable association with work. I needed to get clear about my message and the proper medium(s) to deliver it. I took a step back to consult my moral compass for a North Star, which led me to Frederick Douglass. As is, The Apollonian is hosted by Beehive, a subscription service for email newsletters. The prospect of owning a self-sustaining writing outlet was alluring, and I was attracted to the broadcasted path toward my goal. I appreciate each lesson this platform offered me, yet, within any organization, there are guidelines regarding acceptable conduct. Rules are written in blood and paved by dollar bills. Ownership means no limits; the time to walk away is nigh. I will migrate all subscribers to my website, where I’ll have an active blog. 

I’ve always thought it bizarre how philosophy is often described as a greco-roman or French galaxy, yet Negro philosophers are the ones whose lineage I will be unable to shake - if I even wanted to do so. In an era where adult American citizens have the unobstructed right to vote, the demands of contemporary Black American intellectuals interested in temporally relevant civil rights are incongruent to the demands placed upon their predecessors, my predecessors. Now, I question whether Americans will experience another free or fair election, if even the concept of democracy is more than an age-old pissing match miraged as liberty. 

A Feast for Focus

Clothing and textiles were the initial means of earning a living through the Eye of Apollo venture. This misaligned initiative is an example of setting profit above the brand. My gifts are animated through words; each of us has a unique means of making meaning. Prematurely stretching the production scope relinquished the brand to stagnance. One is wise to keep the main thing in motion. The challenge of having a gift is learning how to trust it. 

Multi-hyphenate, multidisciplinary artistic practices are often expressed to be liberating, yet this approach limits the degree of mastery which may only be achieved through precise focus. Those who aspire to be full-time artists rarely have the luxury of time to achieve mastery in more than one arena while keeping a day job. Opportunities are presented due to necessity, not want. When the moment of selection nears, choosers need specialists. 

Writing may be the least sexy artistic medium, yet it is the foundation of modern human communication. The more one improves within their field, a mark maker adopts a designer’s mindset such that one is more capable of purposely producing resonant works. Mastery eliminates accidents. Master your circumference. 

The Virtual and The Virtuous

The tragedy of speaking truth is the influence of social currency regarding facts and fiction. The A.I. inspired cultural whirlwind obscures the collective visions of truth and effectiveness, yet human logic reigns supreme in the face of virtually infinite technological potential. Communication, as humans have cultivated, has rhythm beyond the reasonable understanding of any singular being. That is to say, our species depends on our abilities to work alongside each other to create meaning. If this is to be the final message you hear from me, remember that language is fluid, and we have control over our perspectives. Through the eyes we view the world are the answers we seek - the difficulty is learning how to focus.  

Writing is the vessel for my discipleship of truth, kindness, and diplomacy – on mist-kissed seas toward greater virtue. Our bodies are destined for the grave, yet virtue is immortal. The time to consolidate my creative efforts is here; this newsletter and the rest of my creative ventures will appear exclusively at www.eyeofapollo.com 

I hope to see you there. 

KTD,

Apollo

If you’re interested in receiving a physical, personalized newsletter, I will send them to you for free if you respond.

The Apollonian 12 – 12/24

On Clothes

I’ve received the shipment of hoodies! I was led to believe the product came from South Korea and Pakistan, yet the package shipped from China. When doing business, I believe one should learn the languages of the people you buy from and sell to, so I’ve got some learning to do.

For the business, I’ll be shifting my focus to designing and screenprinting.

On Reading

I’ve finished the Autobiography of Malcolm X, and I am reading Weaving the Web by Tim Berners-Lee, the co-inventor of the World Wide Web. Beyond the tech jargon is a story about combatting hierarchal systems and the reckless pursuit of capital. Won’t say I’m at the edge of my seat, but I’m optimistic that I’ll have a new perspective when I finish the book.

On Life

The effects of social media on the human brain are immeasurable, but I believe the consequences of frequent use are negative. Doomscrolling is the default web browsing method. According to a 2021 survey by Common Sense Media, the average teen accumulates over 8 hours and 30 minutes of screen time each day. More recent surveys suggest the average, entertainment-based screen time for adults is ~7 hours and 30 minutes.

I strive to extend my attention span and otherwise revolutionize my relationship with social media. To manage my screen time, I bought a brick app blocker to strengthen my focus by minimizing the temptation of instant dopamine.

I’ve been uncharacteristically angry from accumulating stress without reasonable outlets. Doomscrolling on my phone does not help. When you don’t select your fate, someone will choose for you. I am frustrated that I’ve let employers, people’s perceptions, and social media tip the scales of my future.

Anger is a powerful tool I haven’t mastered.

When I started this business, I didn’t grasp the sacrifice necessary for living in my purpose. More than anything, this endeavor highlights my unconquered fears—namely that of evolving relationships and being seen as selfish.

I have a greater fear of dying without applying maximum effort toward my goals. I don’t do well as a cog in the machine of the status quo. I believe there’s a better way for human life to operate and I am determined to see this through.

People are often afraid to lead, without realizing we are the leaders of our lives.

Sometimes, you need your ego.

I’m not sure kindness always wins.

Until next time,

Apollo

The Apollonian 11 – 11/22/24

On The Clothes

The hoodies have finally shipped! Now I can focus all energy on design and screenprinting. How long the hoodies will take to arrive remains to be seen. Fingers crossed.

Otherwise, I’m thinking of ways to connect with people on social mdeia. On Instagram, we finished a 75 post photo series a few days ago. Peep!

Wacked.

No much changes week to week, so the biweekly structure is more efficient for you and me. Since The Apollonian IX, there was a presidential election. The results blindsided many Americans, proving the average citizen’s disconnection from the sociopolitical climate outside of a curated echochamber of consensus, or groupthink.

The first 9 newsletters were under the topic “A Letter to my Younger, Current, and Future Self.”

I will convert these newsletters into a video essay at an undetermined date.

The last few weeks, I faced tough luck—I am powerless when I leave fortune in the hands of fate. Instead, I elect to pursue favor.

Overwhelmingly, humans are conditioned to victimhood, yielding their future to the most powerful among us, those who crave power. I do not covet power, yet I acknowledge its influence upon lasting change.

I pursue influence, a type of power which amplifies the intention of the agent. Above acquiring influence, I aspire to be kind, humane, creative, and confident. Hopefully, I can trust my environment to be my mirror as time passes.

 Books and Miseducation

Lately, I’ve been reading old books, because I find they’re more candid and fearless compared to contemporary, half-cooked principles and frameworks. Most notably, Dr. Carter G. Woodson’s “The Miseducation of The Negro” withstands time through insightful relevance. Despite the text’s aims, many of the concepts can be applied to most Americans of any race—especially when considering this year’s election results.

Here’s a passage, along with my interpretations :

(Consider “Negro” not only meaning “a black person,” but also “a person to whom the statement applies.” In other words, substitute each race, ethnicity, and gender in the place of “Negro.” The effect of this swap on the meaning will lead to discovery…unless you’ve already been given this prompt. If you’re short on time, there is a TLDR)

“The author does not support the once popular view that in matters of education Negroes are rightly subjected to the will of others on presumption that these poor people are not large taxpayers and must be content with charitable contributions to their uplift…”

TLDR—my interpretation: All people should have access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Citizen’s United v FEC is too powerful and otherwise unconstitutional. Some people are claiming power in the only ways they know how.

“Only by careful study of the Negro himself and the life which he is forced to lead can we arrive at the proper procedure in this crisis…”

TLDR—my interpretation: Talk to your neighbors and pay attention to the world as it is. Not the world as you see it. This is the only way to provoke change.

“It may be of no importance to the race to be able to boast today of many times as many “educated” members as it had in 1865. If they are the wrong kind the increase in numbers will be a disadvantage rather than an advantage.”

TLDR—Relevance: There are more college educated people in the United States than ever before, yet institutions are crumbling. Despite education levels, real wages lag behind productivity. From 1979 to 2020, net productivity rose 61.8%, while the hourly pay of typical workers grew far slower—increasing only 17.5% over four decades (after adjusting for inflation) (Source)

READING

I’m about 75 pages from finishing The Autobiography of Malcolm X! So far, this is the best biography I’ve read, and a Top 5 Overall book I’ve read.

The next books on my reading list are as follows:

1. Weaving the Web x Tim Berners-Lee

2. Too Smart: How Digital Capitalism is Extracting Data, Controlling Our Lives, and Taking Over The World x Jathan Sadowski

3. Kayanerenkó:wa: The Great Law of Peace x Kayanesenh Paul Williams

4. The Miseducation of The Negro x Carter G. Woodson

5. Slaughterhouse Five x Kurt Vonnegut

Yes, my reading list shifted, and I will likely read #4 and #5 sooner because they’re easier reads. #3 was gifted to me, and it’s a great book, but it’s LONG (Sorry, Camille… but congrats on being featured in the Chicago Tribune!). I won’t read any new book until I’ve read #3. Promise.

In my apartment, I have a rubbermaid container that functions as my coffee table, and I’m proud to have a coffee table book from my favorite clothing designer (Jun Takahashi, Japanese streetwear pioneer and creative director of Undercover). I aspire to invoke thought like his pieces, and I’m setting my sail back toward learning how to speak and read Japanese.

(I was learning for a few months and fell off the wagon…but it’s about how you get back up after you fall!)

Theory Crafting

Here’s the concept for an essay I’m working through.

THE BALLOT BOX — a matter of choice.

People vote 100x more often than they check a ballot slip.

Types of Votes

Choosing a product, giving power/money/favor to an agent and their behavior in acquiring the product.

Choosing a candidate, giving power/money/favor to an agent and their behavior exhibited to acquire the position.

Choosing a service, giving power/money/favor to an agent and their ability to present the service.

Until Next Time, Wolves,

Kindness Always Wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 11/8/24

The new car smell of starting a business wore off. This is challenging.

As my Dad says, “It’s real in the field.”

June 19th, 2024 is the date of the first Eye of Apollo photo shoot.

August 23, 2024 11:45 AM, I made this venture official via The Apollonian.

As of October 31st, 2024, Eye of Apollo transitioned from a project to a business. [EYE OF APOLLO LLC]

Never Scared

Business success and failure hinges on day-to-day efficiency—not the shipping box, social media copy, or time you spent waiting on samples. Every brand execution affects business; if shipping boxes melt in the rain, you’ll disappoint potential supporters, yet most man-made mistakes can be unmade.

If you fall, and you’re alive, you’re still in the game.

When failure isn’t an option, one must innovate to grow. From marketing to logistics, systems are vulnerable to change.

On Feedback

Accountability is an unexpected consequence of The Apollonian. Recently, I’ve been surprising people by saying the hoodie designs are incomplete. Their logic is sound. Shouldn’t the hoodie’s design be first in the product chain?

My response: Depends on the person, but not for me right now.

Before I started a clothing brand, I invested in ideas without a clear paths to recover investment (Not just money!). Thus, all crafts couldn’t grow from hobby to profession, which made me regretful of the effort, time, and attention paid to my failed pursuits. The exhilarating part of this creative business is the art, not the business—gotta finish your homework before playing videogames. Figuring out logistics is the homework.

The Boy Who Died

In pursuit of goals, there will be death, but not in the conventional sense. A part of you needs to die.

The part of you that wastes the luxury of time by doomscrolling Instagram, X, or Tiktok.

The part of you that molds to other people’s beliefs of who you are and what you should do.

The part of you that puts their plans aside for fleeting pleasure.

None of that makes you happy,

nor does that move you toward your goals.

Why did The Apollonian skip two weeks?

I was out of the country on business, then sick.

Also, weekly newsletters don’t work for Eye of Apollo—too much. I am but one man. Instead, you can expect bi-weekly newsletters.

Otherwise, I’m rethinking my perspective on sponsorships. For the next few weeks, expect no sponsorships… but if there is a sponsorship, know they were throwing me a BAG.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness Always Wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 9 – 10/18/24

Thursday nights are for editing the newsletter. This week, I am exhausted, so this will read as more of a status report.

I’m about 225 pages into The Autobiography of Malcolm X, and I’m hitting an obstacle of understanding.

My hypothesis: My concept of the 1950s is hazy, so I’m unable to draw connections.

Monday morning, I made a plan for the week. I don’t think the week got the memo.

Tuesday afternoon, I filed for EYE OF APOLLO LLC. This allows me to open a bank account and gives me the foundation for trademarks. One must be an entrepreneur to practice art full-time.

Those without a business always talk about the luxury of tax write-offs, but I don’t hear anyone with a business talk about it.

Misinformation about business ownership is rampant; knowing the questions to ask comes over swimming in the waters of legitimate business.

Everybody loves to eat, and few love to hunt.

I see why business owners seem unapproachable. Some are. When you put your own money up and it’s your neck is on the guillotine, you’re a different person; you’re you.

I feel bad telling my friends no when they want to hang out. I love them. Many are academics or the medical field. For them, time spent studying is their currency. For me, time and money are capital so I must be strategic about every engagement.

Time is not money. Time + money = attention.

Attention is the most precious currency.

Wednesday night, I took the train downtown for a brand moodboard photoshoot. If I’m going to be in Chicago, being knowledgeable of the city’s ins and outs is responsible.

I haven’t gone to the gym because I’ve been prioritizing sleeping 8 hours.

Normally, my day job doesn’t spill into me-time, but this week it did. Compromising free time to pay bills makes me feel powerless, and is a significant reason I seek self-employment.

Otherwise, I’m mission-driven. I do not fully believe any employer will help me walk in my life’s purpose. Maybe I’m wrong.

My job is mostly enjoyable, and comparatively… I’ve got a great gig.

I have a founder’s mindset, so something must give, eventually.

The game of power gets bloody.

Thursday morning, I sent an email to my supplier because production is taking longer than was agreed upon.

Within the heart of a monopoly is an owner who wants to control their own business, so they don’t need to wait on someone else to deliver. The owner/company believes no one is more dependable than self. They may be correct, but is this right?

Friday morning, I am going to the gym no matter how much sleep I get, because I am cranky when inactive.

Since September, I’ve been hypersensitive to everything that pulls my attention, and taking note of every instance where I allow my attention to sway.

Communicating like this feels rash, but I promised to be honest about the process of starting a brand. I don’t know how to be more honest.

I understand why Beethoven may have been cranky. When you’re coordinating so many uncontrollables, your sanity can go with it if you aren’t careful.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness always wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 8 – 10/11/24

I’m 150 pages into The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I’m grateful to be reading this thought-provoking masterpiece. Imaginably, authoring an insightful autobiography requires discernment, self-awareness, and courage. I aspire to serve the world so excellently that an autobiography inspires future generations to be the most humane, kind, and harmonious versions of themselves.

In my previous post, I said I would follow-up with a part 2. Now isn’t the time.

But you can follow the brand’s Instagram account.

Fragments of my personal journal end up in The Apollonian. Last week, I was self-conscious about providing value through weekly emails. I feared being seen as egotistical for not providing concise value like New York Times’s The Morning, James Clear’s The 3-2-1 Newsletter, or The Skimm’s Daily Skimm.

The truth is, I’m not them. Neither is Eye of Apollo.

Takes $ to make $$$

Small businesses and early-stage creators don’t operate at scale, making their ideas appear disorganized. Only time will tell if the disorganization is true, or if readers don’t have access to the relevant folders of the founder’s mind…yet.

Either way, foundation is built not imagined. With more time, I could write a better script for the future, but the play could be over by then. Entering the theatre is wiser.

Rambling has a place in writing, but not here. Room to improve is inevitable, yet also impossible to find when one allows oneself to be p u l l e d in multiple directions. However, editing your writing before thoughts hit the page creates anxiety.

Better to be courageous to say, “This is the best I can do for now,” than to run behind the idea that your work can be perfect. It can’t. You can’t. Most times, the solution is cut the cord and let it fly.

Execute perfection.

I deeply value feedback, but as described in The Apollonian 2, a performer’s success depends on discerning good feedback from bad feedback.

Common editing critique:

Recommendation 1: “Write how you talk.” Valuable advice, because it prompts the writer to read their writing aloud. You catch mistakes…so many mistakes. It’ll humble you, every time.

Recommendation 2: “reduce complexity.” Simplifying complex topics is a mark of genius. The problem? This advice is the best mask for Recommendation 3.

Recommendation 3: “simplify so much that you eliminate reader’s duty to think critically.” This is deadly.

People will only recommend 1 and 2, but sometimes they mean 3.

To be clear, I’m not saying people who have given feedback are ignorant—actually, the opposite. Improving would be nearly impossible without you. But I am asking you to be patient with me, because I’m translating a series of concepts that haven’t been combined into consumable chunks without sacrificing the brand.

I am listening, always.

The brand stands on what it stands on, and that will never change. I am not on Earth to deceive.

Every word that goes down in The Apollonian is law and history because I’m writing for the now and the forever of the brand. So, when we get to The Apollonian 100 in two years, we have precedent, and a transparent evolution of reasoning, in stone for this generation and the next.

Why should you listen to me?

In the corporate world, employees are incentivized to make themselves appear useful. After all, managers, coworkers, peers, and other internal stakeholders are all customers in the business of you. They need to believe, or buy-in to, the idea that your maximum effort is being applied to solve professional problems, and that you’re actually solving them.

I’m not them.

…the stakeholder or the employee.

…and I don’t want to think like them either. I don’t feel joy from establishing problems in people’s lives and miraculously appearing with a solution. I strive to be useful.

Eye of Apollo isn’t “corporate,” [the paperwork is getting right so we’ll technically be a corporation] and I’m not really trying to sell you anything… and that’s what I’m trying to sell you—the truth, that every manmade concept, product, and service begins in the mind, and that we have the power to make our society more humane, kind, and harmonious. Yes, I want to sell you clothes or comics, if you want to support the brand. Above all, this is the brand. If you read my ideas and are willing to try them on, the sale was made.

All else is bonus.

If we don’t break even, then I…and I alone, will take the lick, then lick my wounds, and prepare for the next capsule.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness Always Wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 7 – 10/4/24

Throughout weeks 1-5, I pressured myself to provide elaborate, intellectual topics. Now that I’m outside of college, essay prompts are out of place. The feedback I’ve received from you is making me a clearer communicator and a more strategic entrepreneur.

Instead, I will show and not tell.

Long, conceptual research will be based on my studies and viewable on the Eye of Apollo website. Here’s my reading list…

• The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley

• Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

• The Birth of Tragedy by Friedrich Nietzsche

• Weaving The Web by Tim Berners-Lee

• Too Smart: How Digital Capitalism Is Extracting Data, Controlling Our Lives, and Taking Over the World by Jathan Sadowski

• Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut

Ultimately, the goal of this business venture, titled Eye of Apollo, is to build an equitable, creative studio. Our first focus is highlighting a comic book’s narrative through clothing.

The goals of this newsletter:

1. Leading by example by documenting the process of launching a business venture.

2. Sharing the perspectives, resources, research, and inspiration behind this venture.

3. Learning how to provide inspirational, multimedia entertainment.

4. Supporting benevolent artists, businesses, and brands in my community.

Time is our most essential resource, and my obstacles exposed the importance of focus, strategy, and alignment to virtues. For the next two weeks, I will answer the linked questions for Eye of Apollo, and for each area of my personal life.

The questions and prompts can be found here.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness always wins,

Apollo

Apollonian 6 – 9/27/25

The Illusion of Choice

Gen Z is opting out of the prescribed American dream of owning a home, eating healthy food, and having 2-3 children, a car, and a stable job. In most states, that lifestyle is an unattainable standard for college graduates.

The contemporary digital landscape created The New Wild West. The rules changed.

[What’s the cost?]

Humans yearn for happiness, freedom, and companionship. We use tools to fulfill these needs. Corporations wield more advanced versions of these tools to transform attention into $$$. The Internet is a tool with the power to lead humans to utopia…

…and to destruction.

Internet Ethics evolve. To judge Internet crimes, one needs a deep knowledge of the tool, and its history, to predict future abuses—lawyers and elderly politicians are rarely as tech-savvy as engineers, and many engineers lack the social and liberal art expertise encapsulated by ethics. Tim Berners-Lee, co-inventor of the World Wide Web, says that Web, the foundation of today’s Internet, was created for the evolutionary growth of new social engines. One branch of “social engines” is social media, but this essay will double-click the dangers of “dating apps”.

The market for human connection is as old as prostitution, but many web applications are supported by the pursuit of massive capital. I never trusted dating apps, because all interactions begin with the unrealistic fantasy of a person I never physically met. Dating apps allow people to justify, and get away with ghosting, a morally abject way to sever a relationship, by cutting communication for no clearly explained reason.

The bizarre reality of dating apps, like Hinge, Tinder, and Linkedin, create a dishonest dystopia of painted smiles. You wanna know how we got these scars? Image curation expires when virtues don’t align with observed actions.

In the real world, one’s first time taking another human being for granted may be the last; real relationships don’t have reset buttons, but they do require humane interactions.

In a closed system of physical interactions, self-awareness is incentivized because of the high cost of moving on. In boundless, digital interactions, the low cost of moving on does not discourage self-absorption enough, which allows the system to be manipulated by the most powerful agents in that system.

Linkedin is littered with the demeaning tug and pull of bucket-bound crabs; after sending 200 digital applications, one is lucky to get a fair or honest interview, but one is not safe from ghosting.

Costs to Be Boss

The speed of social media innovation makes me question the utility of email newsletters. Meta and Youtube snatch attention so effectively that digital art and entertainment are judged in a blink—with the expectation of simple, yet novel, bite-sized concepts.

Most of all, I am concerned with capital’s influence over attention. As a single, non-rich creator, I lack the resources to compete with major corporations on the basis of speed. I can compete on the basis of depth, which requires time. With only a glance to capture attention, one must be fortunate or rich, because $$$ buys limelight.

On the Brand

Hoodie production will be complete by mid-October. Without supply chain issues, we’ll be ready to screenprint by Nov. 1. The target completion date is Nov. 15.

I’m working harder than I ever have, and I am happier than I’ve ever been. I never found a cause I was willing to live for, but I did find values I am willing to die for.

Fragments from weekly conversations are scattered throughout The Apollonian. I don’t know any other brand seeking to foster a community of humane, sincere, and genuine interactions. If you do, please help me find them so I can learn.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness always wins.

Apollo

The Apollonian 5 – 9/20/24

Glass Homes Get Rocked

A Story About A Door and A Window

You can’t have it every day.

What is it?

In America, it is whatever you want or need. To lack in a moment is a state of circumstance. To lack long-term is a consequence of choice and/or mindset.

I stew in the loneliness of solitary study—discouraged by the weight of making lasting change in this world.

To conquer a challenge in entrepreneurship is to cut a hydra’s head; two grow in its place.

In the labyrinth, we lock horns with men of many faces.

Pen vs. Sword

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Edward Bulwer-Lytton

For most people, the motivation to practice writing dies on graduation day. Corporate authorship encourages rigid, capital-driven thinking.

What does this say about the collective, humane, human ability to communicate?

Schoolyard culture shapes generations—few, contemporary societies have the pace to inspire valuable social exchange.

What happens when our institutions fail to encourage free thought in favor of the bottom line?

In university creative writing courses, my professors often remarked that recent students viewed narrators of assigned stories skeptically, cherry-picking at semantics to find institutional perspectives unreliable.

How did we get here?

Meanwhile on campus, The University of Illinois was engaged in a major freedom of speech case, Salaita v. Kennedy, et al., where a professor was found to be wrongfully terminated for tweets criticizing Israel’s actions against Palestine in 2014.

Across campus, off the record and allegedly, I had it on good sources that a powerful member of student government was recorded saying the “hard R-word.” (They did not have the “qualifications.”) A student who did have the “qualifications” was punished for recording.

And… nevermind.

Irony is a highlighter.

I write because I have questions, not because I have answers.

Writing organizes the mind, and thus behavior. I am re-reading Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White. Otherwise, I’m reading (+annotating) The Birth of Tragedy by Friedrich Nietzsche + Meditations by Marcus Aurelius to inform & develop the Eye of Apollo manifesto, philosophy, and values. More on this in The Apollonian VI. 

Action vs. Word

Actions speak louder than words.

Mark Twain

This week was intended to be a design sprint, focusing on the back illustration for the first capsule titled Wolves 00:00. Instead, the desire to do something halted brand progress, resulting in running feet, no motion, and kicked dust like Scooby and Shaggy.

Note: this only happens when these characters are running away.

The trick of writing a newsletter is writing in the past tense—I must do exactly what I say I will so I don’t lie. Real life distorts the fantasies of what I ought to do, and where I ought to be.

Nothing matters beyond what is and what will be.

Throughout the week, I cycle between 3-5 directions for each newsletter’s theme. Thursdays give me courage to execute perfection. The Apollonian is flawless without deadlines. I have limited insight for the impact until feedback arrives. When sharing quality ideas, the total value cannot be realized in a day, a month, or even a year.

Those who enact plans in spite of daily variables own the future.

David’s Field of Shattered Glass

Upon starting this newsletter, I avoided the following thought stream because I feared impressing arrogance upon you. I’m asking you trust that my voice comes from reflection and the relentless pursuit of knowledge.

Everyone is a writer, and most don’t try. I’m unafraid of looking like a fool. Skilled writers teach me, and everyone else will ignore me, borrow from me, praise me, or downplay my efforts. All feedback is useful.

The best feedback comes from potential collaborators. Most don’t see you because everyone has plan to make it big. I may assure novelty; who doesn’t? Most people don’t get it until their peers do. In the meantime, one must maintain supreme confidence in their mission and abilities.

I understand why successful artists are inclined to feed their ego through selfish use of influence. To grow, one must fight their ego with reflection.

If one needs to tell others that one is in charge, one is not in charge.

I suspect a reason for ego’s dominance in the performing elite stems from the void of sacrifice; they trade reality—human, humane love and connection—for superficiality, resulting in padded pockets and empty hearts.

Between directing a clothing brand, a comic, and a newsletter, I am strapped for time. Also, I work full-time.

I feel guilty for saying no to friends and family, and I have to give up hobbies that were once dear to me. When you don’t hear from me, you know where I am—sitting at a desk, happy… or baring down with a team of hungry visionaries.

Until Next Time Wolves.

Kindness always wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 4 – 9/13/24

Declaration Against Self-Dependence

The Apollonian IV: 1-Month Anniversary

Respect has one master—Power. Without it, hopes, dreams, and wishes are doomed to wither away with winter’s wind.

The Apollonian 4 is the first sponsored post. Whether you enjoy edibles or not, clicking the ad at the bottom really helps. Each click generates $1.60 and gives The Apollonian higher ranking for future ads.

Even if you don’t read, please click the ad.

I live to tell stories and I need capital to tell richer, more intricate stories. I have no problem working for the time.

I will never quit.

Writing is an foundational, evergreen skill for all qualitative, psychological, and artistic mediums and sciences. After demonstrated expertise, I’ll make courses to help people with their writing.

Men In Mirrors

Growing up, my father often told me the black community lacks leaders.

I always agreed, yet I found the pressure to be a black leader daunting. I felt guilty for my access to education and “talking white”. Growing up, most black icons were “self-made” celebs.

Dr. Cornel West’s Race Matters and Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad revolutionized my perspective on race.

Borrowing from Gil-Scott Heron, I realized I was on the right page, but on the wrong note. Change starts in the mind and ends with action.

I never cared for leadership, due to ego-based self-dependence disguised as the pursuit of independence. [wordy dkm, but be patient. it’s fundamental. not fun for your mental]

Now, I care.

Do you pursue independence or self-dependence?

This is the American question.

Back-to-back beats a back against the wall.

I choose to be back-to-back with integrity, courage, confidence, curiosity, and empathy.

I may be a leader to others, but I am a leader of one—me. As others elect to follow, I will lead them.

Narcissus

Reflections are different on every body; the mirror’s job changes every day.

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.

 Heraclitus

The phrase, “never change” is a compliment best declined. Stillness in the river of growth means death.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Reflections

For years, the idea of starting a brand made me feel naked and weak. Each time I built momentum, I shuddered at setbacks—allowing them to define me and my life. I’m 4+ failed businesses/pursuits deep.

I refuse to give up.

I spent so much time focusing on my past and future, only noticing my failures and how reality evaded my dreams.

…but my dreams were never far off all along.

Expecting perfection is insanity; the concept of perfect must die to exist.

Perfection is non-newtonian, as it must be destroyed to be created.

Black Mirrors

I want to use my studies to understand how culture got here.

How are we facing the decline of all American institutions after the vibrant optimism of the 80’s, the swanky style of the 90’s, or the shiny wonder of the 00’s?

Before broadcasting one’s particular and time-based racial, gender, ethnic, and sexuality studies, one must recognize a paramount force in shaping human imagination and history—the Internet.

Watch out! Here’s a haiku.

Quick Maths

I am only one,

but I am mighty because

…I can make us two.

…especially with the Internet.

I desire the prestige of a graduate degree, but I prefer saving money while developing systems for making people’s lives more humane, efficient, and beautiful.

If you would like to support my research, send a book, continue reading, or even my favorite—give feedback!

What’s This For Again?

The Apollonian is a direct line of communication for the brand Eye of Apollo. The first physical good sold from the Eye of Apollo canon will be hoodies, because they are useful, comforting, and stylish.

Cutting and sewing garments isn’t my forte; I’m a storytelling artist who bends attention using available tools. Clothing is an under-explored medium for novel stories for a few reasons.

• Most “high-end” fashion brands are European

• Brand stories don’t include non-celebrity characters to propel their story forward. What if Bruce Wayne wore non-costume outfits you desired?

• People are searching for multi-media stories wherein they can interact with the story in multiple ways.

DGIFU

I will be nasty behind a sewing machine, but I need time. I am a maker, crafter, and tinkerer of physical goods at heart.

…but I still give crazy work.

Writing is an underrated evergreen skill.

Collaborative artworks could be more advanced, deeper, and more timeless with improved communication through the writing-based frameworks of scripted video + photography.

TLDR: If people were better writers, collaborative art would be better.

At narrative center, Eye of Apollo is a unique comic book written by the EoA team. Clothing, cultural commentary, and other brand assets work alongside the comic to create groundbreaking work.

For now, the focus is circulating $$$ and ideas.

Starting a clothing brand an iceberg of a team adventure. Countless hours of effort steers the ship.

Analysis paralysis and the desire for perfection are twins, but our feet are 10 toes on their necks.

Execute Perfection.

What’s Your Cut?

Pricing creative work makes artists cry. Empathy makes less business-savvy artists hesitate to boast a hefty price tags.

More importantly, you need to live.

Cash is the lifeblood of business.

Upon release, you may be taken aback by the price tag. Out of respect for the team’s time, I will not undervalue our work.

This clothing capsule has been guided by >7 sets of hands invested in success.

“I appreciate you,” isn’t strong enough, and I will show you how thankful I am for your support. The brand wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.

I do not miss payments, especially internal ones.

…so I need to recoup.

+++ prepare for a stronger Spring 2025.

I am deeply grateful for all 70 of you for subscribing. You make this journey worthwhile.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness Always Wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 3 9/6/24

Sometimes You Gotta…

Launching a newsletter is easy.

Growth requires a mission-focused approach. I was discouraged by the lack of immediate reaction to The Apollonian 2.

“Why wasn’t I getting feedback?“

The better question:

“Why do I expect instant feedback?”

Bad Feedback

Those familiar with live mics know the deafening sound of instant feedback. Audio bounces between the speaker and the mic, intensifying each time until the performer or audio engineer has the awareness to cut the noise.

Instant Feedback does not mean valuable feedback; your words may be clones to others.

Good Feedback

Kind feedback is humane and helpful. Misguided intentions can inspire a mission, but only as consolation.

Nabala, my favorite coffee shop in Chicago, was recently vandalized by way of broken glass. There were many windows to choose, but the vandal selected the window where the Palestinian flag stands.

The day after, while enjoying my regular, a cardamom cold brew, I noticed a news camera capturing the shop and interviewing the owner. Finding a seat is normally a challenge, but there was standing room only—I don’t think anyone cared to sit.

Our presence was our hug. Community building is valuable feedback.

Humane, human responsibility is to ensure kindness always wins.

The Spectacle of Exhibition

Positive, instant feedback may exist when one’s novel voice or presence materializes others’ thoughts or feelings; this is a quality of virality.

Contemporary culture highlights spectacle. Virality accompanies intense resonance and/or disgust.

Encouragement for mindfulness coincided with a new academic year as “Demure” infiltrated the cultural zeitgeist to usurp the infamous “Hawk Tuah.”

A reminder that, “sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas,” kicked off the summer.

[ I’m a grown, black man and I’m going to strategically use the word when I see fit. ]

Previous generations might consider seeking fame by hinting XXX for $$$ as a moral stain, despite “liberation”.

Younger generations might be too discouraged by failing institutions and lopsided wealth distribution to care what elders think,

…and instead find joy in the ironic and comical.

“It’s not that deep.”

Maybe. Maybe not.

…but we are so, so numb.

Viral Vroom-Vroom

Going viral is a vehicle to riches when a personality is tall enough to drive attention.

Contemporary streaming analytics indicate 15 minutes of fame can equate to 500k hours of watch time or more—a highly profitable operation.

Manipulating human attention holds unquantifiable value. Corporations assign dollar values to the metric of attention, but they may never reveal the total capital gained.

We have grown to evolve our ability to draw attention beyond natural, healthy limits through entertaining programming like TV, streaming, and social media.

Mental candy, or poison, is camouflaged as mental food.

The 1st tech giant to combine these addicting mediums in a novel way will have a massive, maybe insurmountable, advantage.

For the record: Apple, Google, Meta, and Amazon have live, or scheduled, anti-trust cases regarding your data.

Remember:

Under a system of capital and the dollar, you’re always paying for attention with attention.

On The Brand “Eye of Apollo”

Coordinating The Apollonian across media channels like Substack, Twitter, Facebook, Email, and web is my biggest current challenge.

Otherwise, I’m waiting on a bulk order of hoodies to arrive for printing.

I’ve started the design, but the next few weeks will include a design sprint. Look out for video documentation on the Eye of Apollo Instagram, and some will appear in Ghost Wonder.

Other Updates:

All pages on the website are “functional”, but About Me/About the Brand need work.

Definitions (like Week 1’s Brand and Week 3’s Virality) explored in The Apollonian will appear in Mnemosyne.

Each day, I spend 2-3 hours writing for the Eye of Apollo comic book, our newsletter The Apollonian, The Dionysian (not revealing this, yet), music reviews, and/or essays.

I was overwhelmed by hours spent, but now expertise in language turns words into building blocks for architecting thought—thus behavior.

The Apollonian 3 was heavily inspired by these songs [explicit content].

Song A ; Song B; Song C; Song D; Song E

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness Always Wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 2 – 8/30/24

Time, the Precious

To prioritize time, I’ll trim newsletter lengths. 750 words is hella, so I’ll shave to 300 (over time).

Feedback is silver-plated gold.

I will deep-dive into favorite topics via the Eye of Apollo site and video essays on Youtube. This channel doesn't have any content, yet.

Gems only shine in light— I won’t make you dig to see if this newsletter is for you.

This newsletter and project are being designed to serve..

The Apollonian is for:

Polymaths.

Those pursuing more reasonable, cultured, harmonious, and/or disciplined lives.

“Young,” non-millionaires in pursuit of making meaning in life.

Curious minds who ask why like toddlers (or feel ashamed to ask too many questions)

2-Party “Red vs. Blue,” political skeptics.

Higher education critics.

Creatives.

Fashion-lovers seeking unique storytelling through textiles, comics, and community building.

Storytellers seeking novel narratives via the fusion of comics, philosophy, education, and other audio + visual mediums.

Rejectors of contemporary, standard, societal programming.

Take It In Blood

Pursuing dynamic goals requires countless tasks—getting lost in the sauce is almost inevitable.

Entrepreneurial steps are upon marble milestones, through the smoky haze of inexperience.

Each stumble draws blood to paint a story of pain and triumph.

Your limp becomes hopscotch.

Chalk, clear skies, and unblemished skin are myths on the road less traveled.

The Road Ahead

Turning Eye of Apollo into a successful business could take 9-15 months, or more. However, the core value in this endeavor is not money—it’s true value. My time spent is invested in the future.

Value is the lifeblood of exchange, wherein money is a proxy.

The true value of EoA is in the transparency of starting a humane business. The reckless pursuit of capital is destructive, and thus inhumane.

If the world is bound for dystopia, I must uncover if this is fate or choice.

Disclaimer: I intend to make profit, but with communicated checks and balances. We’ll explore this when money is involved to ensure positive-sum exchange.

Until I develop a system for monetary exchange, I will refer to Eye of Apollo as a project instead of a business.

Lockstep

In this project and exploration, you and I must share a baseline understanding of…

1. My perspective

   1. Whether you agree or not, recognizing my priorities and Points of View helps determine the attention we share.

   2. Here, I will define key terms we’ll explore within the Eye of Apollo universe.

2. Marketing

   1. How the ideas behind products, services, and people foster our connections to them.

   2. How one can position themselves to obtain and create true value in reasonable marketplaces.

3. Culture

   1. The arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.

   2. The customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.

   3. How humans collect and exchange ideas, goods, and services in pursuit of self-preservation and community.

The Eye of Apollo project will encompass (in this order) community building, clothing, comics, installations, books, and courses. There may be more, but these goods and services will be the foundation for all that follows. I don’t have great vision to see beyond this…

yet.

About Me

The day after sending out my first newsletter, I moved apartments.

My previous studio was ill-equipped to house my pursuits. I have more space now, but I lack the required furniture and tools to be comfortable.

I must choose between personal comforts and business progress. People have invested in me financially, emotionally, and spiritually—business comes first. The un-absolutely-necessary must wait.

Success in all humane fields is built upon the foundation of communication. Covid-19 exposed cracks in my community systems, and I found myself lonely in pursuit of happiness.

Life means nothing without kin to share experiences.

Until Next Time, Wolves.

Kindness always wins,

Apollo

The Apollonian 1 – 8/23/24

1st Shot on Target

You may know me by Wendell. For this newsletter, I’ll go by “Apollo,” the greek god of the arts, archery, medicine, prophecy, and a few other fields dependent upon the story rendition. Otherwise, Apollo is the name for NASA’s manned moon missions, and the historic Harlem theater known for breaking the world’s biggest entertainment acts. 

I don’t think I’m a greek god—the name is a necessary separation from the physical me to an idea to strive toward.

This newsletter will chronicle my journey of creating a brand. I’ve been working on the brand narrative, designs, and business plan for Eye of Apollo since 2019.

I’ve filled desk-side trash bins with drafted ideas in fear of failure to execute perfection.

Two weeks ago my sister revealed my scalp’s mortal reminder— a long gray hair stating, “My time on Earth is limited.”

There is no time for potential, only what can be perceived, touched, and tended. Suddenly, I developed the need to execute perfection while accepting the failures to be endured in pursuit of revolutionizing my mind.

The execution of perfection requires the acceptance of failure.

Entering The Fray

Photography, videography, and graphic design aren’t my native tongues.

The visual backgrounds of great, contemporary creative directors encouraged me to feel out of place, like I needed to mimic their rise for my brand to have a chance.

I was stuck in tutorial hell, trying to find more information to store “just in case.” This was a cowardly lack of confidence. We may only teach, and learn, through action.

Obstacles become the way. How would Harry Potter become “The Boy Who Lived” without “He Who Shall Not Be Named”?

Trailblazing paths have a series of unique trials with common themes.

My experience in language arts creates opportunities to tell a novel story and carve the Eye of Apollo brand in stone.

Language is an art form.

Hence, the purpose of this newsletter: making meaning by documenting the journey of creating a brand.

To clarify…

For the purpose of Eye of Apollo, “brand” does not mean “a vehicle for profit.”

Instead, brand means “a philosophy embodied within goods, services, and people.”

The main objective of Eye of Apollo is to create a socialistic, humane, business system that is symbiotic with the environment.

There will be some profit. Our aim is not to be rich, but instead to create a system conducive to the creation of sustainable goods and services.

I aim to prove kindness always wins for all humane processes made by mankind.

Our mission may be perceived as utopian— hopefully it is.

Whether you’re reading this in August or December, I thank you. Time is the only true currency, and I promise to do my best to add value to our time in this world.

If you’re like me, you question systems. “Must it be this way?” and, “Is it real?” are my favorites. The answer is overwhelmingly ‘no.’

Perfection is a mythical path we may only pursue if we have the courage to destroy it. You will never live a perfect life without the humility of error.

Everything I’m Not Made Me Everything I Am

I am no tailor or carpenter, but my heart is in building. By education, I am…

• an economist

• an athlete

• a marketer

• a barista

• a writer

I won’t detail the utility of each, for now.

I used to view fluid identity as contradictory obstacles to the pursuit of purpose. My multifaceted nature is a dynamic key for opening the doors to a fulfilling future. I may use my training to build. Ignorance is only temporary if one is humble enough to seek a proper path.

Writing and psychological studies are evergreen skills, especially with the infusion of A.I. into contemporary systems. As is, all human systems are built to serve humans. Some humans, at least.

We approach singularity, wherein technology revolutionizes society beyond current recognition. The future of industry will never be the same, thus wisdom suggests preparation for the inevitable:

Change.

Maybe we’re approaching universal basic income aka UBI. Maybe inequality will grow. Or maybe, just maybe. There is a door #3. History suggests the answer is clear.

I will stop here. As a “creative,” I feel pressure to “set the tone” with the first newsletter, but I accept that, hopefully, I will cringe at the formatting of past work. Then, I will know I made progress.

Either way, please reply to this email with praise and/or critique. Without it, I may not grow. I will be forever grateful for your attention.

Until next week, Wolves.

Kindness always wins,

Apollo